Do you ever have family situations where you feel cornered, and that there is no way out? Well, this past week a family situation arose where I was told that a member of my family was going to come over for Sunday breakfast and they wanted to make sure that I knew what they expected to find…. “this, and that, oh and don’t forget this, etc.” Does this sound familiar?
With Christmas just around the corner, such situations seem to come about easily and often. But not only that, there can be cultural expectations to conform with. You may have to act a certain way and to eat specific items. The list could go on and on. My point is, families and culture put us under a huge amount of pressure.
I want you to picture a mouse trapped in a corner by a cat. Now think about how that mouse must feel. That is the same feeling I get when my family backs me into a corner. So, what can feelings like this do to us? I use this “cat and mouse” analogy because the trauma the poor mouse is experiencing is very similar to what we as humans can experience during these types of family situations. And we, being merely human, just can’t shake off situations like our little mouse friend can… i.e. run from the situation and shake it off.
Over the years I have learned from experience that these situations, as annoying and frustrating as they can be, are easily “shunned” into silence so that we can get on with our lives. You could call this putting on a “straight face”. It is very important to recognize that these emotions, when “shunned” away, end up being trapped in our body, and by allowing ourselves to express them in a constructive way (for me it was screaming into a pillow, and I’m proud to admit that) can feel like such a relief.
In many cultures it is expected to not show your emotions, instead, you should cover them up by putting on a smiling face. Sometimes, we even tell our children to do these same things when they cry. We are humans, here to express our emotions, and what a beautiful array of emotions we have to express ourselves with. It is through these expressions that we allow ourselves to flow freely, energetically, and be who we are here to be.
So, what did I do after screaming in the pillow? First, I felt relief, but then I checked to see what trapped emotions I had caused; panic, stubbornness, unsupported, and creative insecurity, which I released using the Emotion Code method.
As we go about our daily lives we will continue to have challenges. Taking responsibility to release our trapped emotions can make a huge difference in how we feel. If emotions are trapped they can show up as pain, or some form of dis-ease later on. This is how our body tells us that a trapped emotion needs to be released. Releasing trapped emotions as they occur can help us to feel more at ease and to know that these situations are gifts, allowing us to practice being in the flow of life.
By: Charan Surdhar