Three Steps to Heal a Broken Heart
April 5, 2013
Can you remember a time in your life when you thought your heart was going to break? Can you remember feeling that sensation often referred to as “heartache?” It may have felt as if an elephant were sitting on your chest, or that you couldn’t breathe. These are common physical sensations that result when your heart – the core of your being – is suffering from a deep trauma.
New research is beginning to reveal that the human heart, aside from being a mere mechanical pump, seems to actually be much closer to ancient beliefs than we have imagined. In the ancient world, the human heart was thought of as being the seat of love, the seat of the soul, the core of our being, and the source of our creativity. As you might imagine, Western medicine has had no patience for such seemingly quaint ideas. However, we are gradually waking up to the realization that the ancients seem to have been correct in their beliefs about the heart!
For example, heart transplant recipients often report strange symptoms, including changes in their music, food and entertainment preferences, as well as handwriting changes. Some have even reported receiving memories that were not their own.
There are thousands of stories of “cellular memory” like these. How is this possible? Is the heart really more than simply a muscular pump? The answer may just lie in new developments in modern technology.
It has been proven in the laboratory that your heartbeat becomes instantly measurable in the brain waves of another person when you are focusing love and affection on them. We learn from this that there is an invisible communication going on between us that we had never been aware of before.
When you are experiencing deep grief, hurt or loss, it may be interpreted as an assault on the core of your being, on your heart. These feelings of heartbreak can be so uncomfortable, so foreign and so difficult to deal with, that they often result in the formation of an energetic “wall” put up to protect the heart from further injury.
Miranda is a perfect example of how a heart-wall can interfere with a love life. She was an attractive 38-year-old nurse who came to me suffering from neck pain. During the course of my examination, she mentioned that she had not dated anyone in years and had no interest in having any kind of a relationship with men anymore. When I tested her, I was not surprised to find that she had a “heart-wall.”
Eight years before, Miranda’s heart had been broken in a relationship with a man she had deeply loved. In an effort to protect her heart from experiencing that kind of pain and injury again, her subconscious mind had created a heart-wall.
In Miranda’s case, three lingering emotions had been trapped in her body for all those years, blocking her from experiencing a loving relationship. She had no idea that these trapped emotions were the major underlying cause of the pain she was experiencing in her neck as well. Her neck pain had been going on for some time, and was considered chronic and even a bit mysterious by the other doctors she had consulted, as nothing seemed to relieve it.
One by one, we cleared each of these emotions.
I didn’t see Miranda again for about three months. When I did, she looked incredibly happy. I asked her what had changed and she excitedly said, “Everything!” She reported that her neck pain was long gone. But there was even better news than that.
“Right after I saw you last,” she said, “I ran into my childhood sweetheart. I hadn’t seen him since elementary school. But it turned out he’d been living right around the corner from me—less than a block away—for almost eight years. We started dating and something really sparked between us. We’re in love! I think he’s going to ask me to marry him.”
The woman who had come into my office complaining of neck pain and swearing off men was gone for good. She was like a completely new person.
When their heart-wall is released, people sometimes say it’s like they can finally feel again. They can give and receive love freely for the first time in a long time. In that state, very interesting and wonderful things can happen.
Is a heart-wall hampering your ability to give and receive love? Is it interfering with your ability to feel good emotions, or contributing to your feelings of isolation? Is it creating depression, anxiety or self-sabotage for you? Is a heart-wall interfering with your ability to succeed?
If you are at all frustrated with your love life, your social life or the level of financial abundance that you’ve been able to attain, a heart-wall may be a big piece of the puzzle for you.
If you have a heart-wall, can you see how important it is for you to clear that wall away? Can you see the importance of helping your own children and your own family? It is my hope that you will stop looking outward for the solutions to your problems, and practice some true inner healing by getting rid of the walls around your own heart!
Three Steps to Heal a Broken Heart
- Write a letter to yourself or another person you need to forgive. It helps you express angst and negativity that might be in your soul about yourself or another person, even if you don’t mail the letter.
- Burn the letter. Take the letter outside and light it with a match, burn it up and send it out to the universe. That can really help you to let go and forgive.
- Speak Forgiveness. This can be telling yourself or another person that you truly have forgiven yourself or the one who wronged you. This helps seal the forgiveness.
When we withhold forgiveness from ourselves or someone who has hurt us, we may think that we are getting even with that person; we may think that we are hurting that person, but nothing could be further from the truth. What we are really doing is we are hurting ourselves. And when we allow ourselves to finally forgive our own selves or that person who has hurt us, the end result of that is peace for us. Until you forgive you are not going to be able to have peace. That is just the way it is. It is natural law.
By Dr. Bradley Nelson